General Recaps

Pretty Little Liars– This has definitely taken the spot of show of the summer. It’s one of those oddly addictive shows where you can’t help but keep watching. A part of me was really into it, wanting to know who A was (we never actually saw Allison’s body, so there’s every possibility A is her) and the other part was frustrated. For one thing, the show was suffering from the “awful main character” syndrome that seems to be an issue with a number of ABC Family show–Amy of Secret Life, Emily of MIOBI. I find Aria’s entire story utterly uninteresting. Her parents are going through a pretty awful divorce and all she can think about and be upset about is the teacher she’s obsessed with. The other big issue I had is the fact that the actresses are fairly awful. But I do like Hannah and to a slightly lesser extent Emily and the tension building from episode to episode was well done, even if not every individual plot line was.

Huge– I might only like this because I like Nikki Blonsky, but I’ve enjoyed this show (and I think Blonsky will be singing this week!!!). Not the best show of summer, but not bad either. I particularly like the most recent bit of information about Will’s past, though the one character I’d really like to see more about is Shay. We’ve only learned a little about her and she’s such a crazy character that I want to know more about where she’s coming from.

Melissa and Joey– Entertainment Weekly summed this show up perfectly. It’s like being in an episode of “I Love The Nineties.” The show is completely formulaic and not particularly surprising or funny. ABC Family doesn’t seem to do half hour comedies well and this show surprised me considering how well their one hour teen dramas are doing. It just didn’t seem to fit. My friend says they’re trying to capitalize on the people who liked the movie Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence starred in and also perhaps target the nostalgic twenty-somethings who watch the channel and then pretend not to. I get the strategy, but the show just doesn’t cut it.

Royal Pains– This show has sort of hit a plateau, which isn’t to say it’s bad, but only to say it hasn’t gotten any better. I’ll be honest and say that I like Dr. Emily Peck as well as Paige, though both characters interrupt the main character romances that were set up in season one (you know, the will they won’t they that was Ross and Rachel but is now Hank and Jill, Divya and Evan). I like how Evan’s growing up somewhat and I find Hank to be a little too perfect. I’d like to see more facets of his personality beyond “hi, I’m perfect.”

Covert Affairs– It’s like Alias without the mythology stuff (thankfully, because despite my like for Lost and its mythology, the Alias stuff just didn’t stick for me). I kind of like it, though I am hoping for the show to step back for the formulaic stuff and look more at the bigger story (specifically, Annie’s love interest). Other things I’d like to see: Auggie’s action days (the recent episode with the girl he liked was pretty great), a female for Perabo to play off of (maybe a rival spy), more about Annie’s family, and more depth into the characters.

Drop Dead Diva– This show continues to surprise me. How many different story lines can you come up with about a dead person who is living in someone else’s body? It turns out, a lot of them. It may not be the best quality show out there, but it continue to churn out interesting, albeit preposterous, episodes. (Maybe a bit more insight into characters like Kim and Fred would be nice.)

Project Runway– This is quite the season. I’m not sure if or how the extended format affects things or even helps things, but I’m not complaining either. This season is a pretty good one. I think there are a few really talented designers, though there are others that are just ridiculous (the diaper shorts?). The first episode was ridiculous with its “you’re not on the show yet” challenge. Why was everyone freaking out? Are you on camera? Are you competing in a challenge? Then by definition, you are on the show. The benefit is in theory, the girl who got kicked off in that first episode should be able to tryout for the show again. What I greatly enjoyed though did not necessarily agree with, was Tim’s dressing down of Gretchen this week. Sure, she’s arrogant and hot headed, but to say that she bullied them into listening to her was unfair and from what we saw, untrue. She didn’t force anyone to do anything. We didn’t even see much arguing. And now, the cast that already hates her is bound to turn mean. And yeah, she’s pretty full of herself but her record did (at the time) kind of give her a right to be.

Weeds– Well, this show just continues to take strange turns. I know the writers think it’s a great idea to ditch everything and start over, but I miss the dynamic of the original seasons and the rest of the cast beyond the Botwins. And the whole mallet murder…yeah, I don’t even know what to do with that. Still enjoyable but perhaps straying father than I would like?

Leverage– This past week’s episode really showed off just how excellent the writing talent on this show is. Basically, we see the tale of how a specific dagger was “stolen” through the eyes of each of the characters before they had met and worked together. The brilliance of this was showing how each person’s memory was the same, but different. Little details, accents, etc all highlighted the individual characters, their abilities, and the overall dynamics. Even though they’ve turned to good, they still take pride in their abilities and their pasts. I for one would love to keep learning more about them. Though I don’t think they can quite utilize this specific format again (what are the odds that they all foiled each other on another heist?), I hope they find a way to use a variation of it. At the same time, I love how we’ve seen a number of episodes that highlight particular characters. Always strongest for me are the ones about Parker (since they’re the only ones, besides Nathan, where we delve into the characters’ pasts as well as their psyches), which we’ve had a few of lately. I hope to learn more about all of the characters. I will say that I miss Jeri Ryan on the show, not that I want her to replace Sophie, but maybe as an occasional guest spot or addition.

So You Think You Can Dance– Did you see it coming? Lauren Froderman beating out Kent Boyd? There’s only one reason this did not surprise me. My friend has a theory that the contestant who is set up as the clear winner from the beginning (of any reality show, not just SYTYCD) is virtually never the actual winner of the show. Perhaps the audience doesn’t like being forced into a decision or the contestant gets to cocky or just doesn’t show growth because they are already so strong, but for whatever reason, it seems to be true. (I can’t think of examples off the top of my head right now, but I’ll come back with them.) I for one am glad because Kent couldn’t seem to manage the few things the judges asked of him in terms of improvements whereas Lauren seemed to get better by the week without ever really misstepping.

Psych– I’m noticing one particular thing missing for me this season. Specifically, that is the heart of the show. Where are the emotional aspects? What happened to the will they won’t they dynamic of Juliette and Shawn for example? Can we learn more about Spencer’s mom or maybe Juliette and Lassiter’s pasts? It’s still entertaining but it’s not quite as solid as it used to be.

Rachel Zoe Project– What is with the obsession over Taylor? Whether or not she actually stole some clothes (which really just doesn’t make sense for a number of reasons), get over her. It’s like not a moment can go by without them mentioning her and usually bashing her. Yeah, she was a whiner, but are you really pretending she didn’t ever do any work? I’m not even sure why I enjoy the show but I do and I’m looking forward to seeing more of Ashley. The truth is, even without Taylor, there is still chaos, but it does seem to be more outer office chaos rather than internal (but then again, Rachel is healthy, which is a change, and she is not putting an employee in the unfair and awkward position of choosing who gets to go on a trip).

Rookie Blue– Another actress I’m enjoying these days is Missy Peregrym. I like that her face is actually expressive. You don’t need the camera to zoom in as close as possible in order to get a sense of how her character is feeling. Not every plot is excellent, but a lot of them are. It would be nice to get to know more about Gail because right now she’s ridiculous and I would love to know more about each of their pasts. I like watching the rookies blunder, I like things about training and learning. If anything, I’d like some flashbacks of them actually training.

Burn Notice– Aside from not believing that Fiona and Michael are as attractive as they’re meant to be, I’m not enjoying this show as much as I did in previous seasons. I think the main reason is that it feels like the same arguments are rehashed every episode and the emotional element that I mentioned was missing in Psych is also lacking in this one. I hope it gets better, because this new story with Jessie finally knowing the truth could be interesting.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager– Do you think Adrian is going to have a miscarriage? That’s the only other storyline that I think could be really interesting since they’ve lost the opportunity to do the abortion plot (not that I’m surprised). All the other storylines, meh. I’m glad to see a little less whining from Amy though.

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Weeds: All About My Mom

There’s a massage being set up for Nancy, it’s a gift, but she doesn’t want it. The woman refuses to leave until she does her job so Nancy acquiesces. She’s upset that Esteban is still with Pilar. The masseuse was sent by Pilar apparently.

Grossness poured into a vase by Celia. Doug comes in. It looks like they’re in a storage locker. Celia wants out of the business and intends to sell her weed cheap to him. He only has $37. She is willing to give it to him on credit. She shows him her pot and he points out that she sold his pot. He lets it slip that he knows the cop following her so she knocks him out.

Nancy is serving the baby with a bottle because she drank too much last night. She and Shane have a non-discussion about how they never talk anymore. In comes Silas who gets a call from Adelita (finally learned her name). She’s calling to ask him to come up to his room. She’s lying on her bed and asks him to get her her laptop. What Silas doesn’t catch is there’s clearly something wrong. She can’t feel half her body. She wants to look up why. They argue. She asks him to shoot her up before he goes and then she pukes.

Andy brings Dr. Alanis (Audra) into the garage, covering her eyes and then reveals a new van. She seems amazed by it, kinda like a kid in a candy shop. He tells her to look at the rearview mirror where a ring is hanging on a string. She says it isn’t safe to keep it there. So he proposes. Before she can respond, she gets a call from Silas.

Nancy finds Pilar and Esteban outside together. He says they’ve come to an understanding. Pilar says she can see that Nancy isn’t bad for him but it would be best if she stayed in the background. Nancy says get out. Pilar has to prep for a party to fundraise. (Nancy is allowed to come for 30 minutes.) Pilar leaves. They talk. He says Pilar has every indiscretion of his documented and if he didn’t cooperate he would go to jail for life. Nancy is wearing his deodorant and Esteban forbids her to wear it.

Nancy calls Guillermo. He’s in Mexico. She wants “it” done today.

Celia has Doug tied up. Celia says she’s no longer into men because she met a lady. She admits she needs to sleep with men. Celia is insistent on being a drug dealer. If Nancy can do it so can she. Nancy had a team. So Celia needs a team. She agrees to team up with Doug. Well, Doug has to team up with Celia.

Alanis arrives to look at Adelita. Meanwhile Andy and Nancy talk. He’s proposed and anticipates that she will say yes. Nancy’s a little glad that Esteban’s daughter isn’t perfect. Shows what he knows about raising kids. Esteban comes in and wonders why Andy is over. Why isn’t he with his fiance? His fiance is over too, with his daughter. Nancy says his daughter has a heroine problem but Esteban says it’s impossible. He doesn’t know what to do.

Celia holds a meeting with Doug, Dean, Sanje, Ignacio, and Isabelle. This is her crew. Isabelle is the brains.

Alanis hasn’t said yes to the proposal but she’s still wearing the ring. They are surprised by the protester holdign a bow and arrow. Andy runs away.

The Botwins are at the fundraiser. Shane asks why Silas didn’t go to Europe. Because he wants to take care of his family. (He doesn’t say it in so many words but that’s the gist.) Cesar tells Nancy to get used to Pilar’s ways but Nancy says she has prepared a different way. Esteban apologizes to her but he hugs and kisses her in public so that’s a good sign. Pilar wants to take walk with Nancy before she leaves. Pilar brings up Guillermo. She admires the “cajohones” but she should try to hire someone who doesn’t work for her. Pilar threatens to hurt Silas and Shane. Nancy says if she goes near them she’ll kill her herself. While Pilar is threatening them, Shane whacks Pilar on the head and she lands in the pool Sunset Boulevard style.

(To put it out there, I think this is one of my favorite episodes in a long while.)

Weeds: Glue

Shane catches Nancy drinking. She’s been drinking all night and can’t seem to get drunk. Shane thinks it’s about time Esteban was arrested. He asks if she ever wished she could go back to before she got involved with drugs but she says she tries not to think about it. She finally gets a call about Esteban’s location and goes to him and the police station.

Celia wants to be on top “like Nancy.” Life is about admitting what you want and not being afraid to take it. She’s dressed “like a prostitute” and gives Isabelle some bad advice about slimming down by throwing up. Isabelle tells her there’s a cop waiting for her downstairs.

Andy gets in the car with Nancy as she heads to meet Esteban. He says he’s a man on a plan. He asks for the engagement ring that was his mother’s (that her ex-husband gave her).

Silas and the stepsister can’t leave the house. Silas says he wanted to go jogging to clear his mind. Stepsister’s friends are coming over for a party and she invites him to join. Loosen up and change she tells him.

At the police station the body guard Ceasar goes to search for Esteban and tells Nancy to stay put because “the local color isn’t white.” Nancy and Andy take a love quiz to decide who gets the engagement ring.

While Nancy goes to buy more weed she spots to guy Isabelle warned about and leaves.

Andy reveals he plans to propose to Dr. Alanis tomorrow. Nancy gets a call from Celia asking for help. “Where do I go when the heat is on?” Nancy doesn’t help. Cesar returns to say that Esteban is being held for questioning.

Stepsister’s friends look down at Silas for going to public school. One guy offers him some heroine to smoke.

Andy says Alanis (aka Audra in the show) makes him feel that all his past women were a mistake and that love can solve all problems. Cesar reveals that he has a family that he loves and he never brings his work home to them.

The wrestler who Celia skipped out on the drug deal with comes to her apartment and breaks open the door. He takes the money she was supposed to give him.

Nancy is hit with “red tape” that keeps her from finding Esteban. The computer is down, she has to wait until her number is called, they’re on the wrong floor. Nancy asks if he wishes he could go back.

Silas turns down the heroine but stepsister and friends take it. They kind of seem like monkeys. Shane and Silas discuss how terrible she is. Shane thanks Silas for not leaving when he could have. At Shane’s urging, Silas steps in to protect the stepsister from her friends since she’s pretty out of it. When they ignore him, Shane pulls a knife of them and spouts all the threatening Spanish he’s learned.

Andy scored an 89 on the quiz. Nancy scores a 62. Nancy says he’s truly in love “for now” because he loves to be love but runs when it’s too close. She’s not going to give him the ring. He tells her she’s a coward afraid of being ordinary who sacrificed her family. Cesar returns. It’s Nancy’s turn finally but they’re told they can’t be helped because the building is closing. She demands to know where he is and the guy checks his computer to reveal that Esteban was released four hours ago. She starts hitting the guy with her purse.

Celia is hiding in a corner behind an overturned chair asking Doug for help. Haha the black guy in the brown leather jacket who was following Celia was really Dean in costume and makeup.

Nancy returns home to find Shane drinking. Esteban is on the news with Pilar. So much for getting away from him. Nancy decides to give Andy the ring and her blessing.

Weeds Ducks and Tigers

It amazes me how easily people find buyers for pot. Not because I don’t think there aren’t a lot of people who want, but because it’s not as though you can just out and out ask.

The family (Shane, Silas, Nancy, Esteban) play lawn darts. Nancy have gotten married in a small unexciting service and seem very happy together. In walks some girl who it turns out is his daughter whose name I could not catch or pronounce. Avelita? She’s surprised to discover that her dad is married. Oops. Minor detail that should have been mentioned. She wonders why her room looks like a hospital. Oh, second detail that should have been mentioned.

Celia goes off on a waitress for giving her the wrong type of cheese. She has a meeting with the “You’re Pretty” head who says she’s impressed with Nancy. ¬†Gross moment there, you’re pretty woman is gay it seems.

Nancy finds out that Esteban wants the baby given formula, she’s upset because she’s ¬†breast feeding. He thinks that’s for pheasants. Nancy says it’s better for the baby. His daughter disagrees. Nancy refuses to give up.

Andy is outside Dr. Alanis’s clinic. . The anti-abortion guy stands up close, staring at him. He’s got flowers and a fixed car for Alanis. It certainly looks nicer and you can open the door now. The horn is still the same though.

Doug and Dean plan their revenge. Dean’s made a list titled “Doug and Dean’s List of Ways to get Revenge on that Thieving Whore Celia.” Short and to the point. As is the list itself, since nothing is on it. They’re not very good at strategizing. They can’t be stoned when they go into battle, they need a clear head. Celia is a formidable opponent apparently.

Nancy looks unhappy. She’s visiting at the jail again. (Why does she keep going there?) Somehow he’s managed a cell. She wants him to help her with Pilar. She’s the big league. He says yes, if he gets his case transferred to Mexico. (The tunnel spanned two countries with no one to testify which side he was on when arrested.) He says he can get out easily once there. He “slides under doors in Mexico.” How does she know he won’t come after her? You never really know…

Andy massages Alanis’s feet. she can name all the bones. They make out until someone throws things at her windows. Gail has a thing for her. She has moved a lot because they have been finding out where she lives. He offers her to stay where she is.

Nancy asks the bodyguard to help. He’s unhappy that she’s been visiting Guillermo. She says she’d visit him too.

Celia and Isabelle get their hair done. Celia wants to apologize for how she acted when Isabelle came out. Apparently her time with Ms. You’re Pretty was inspiring? She wants Isabelle to explain how lesbian sex works. Isabelle’s never done anything more than kissing. Celia asks if it’s good. Good soft like a puppy? Bad soft like rotten fruit? Then she asks “am I going to have to get a strap on?” Isabelle doesn’t want her to “take this away from her,” it’s all she has. Isabelle is upset and leaves. Celia starts asking the hairstylist…

Andy and Alanis (sorry, can’t think of her as anything but) are home together but they can’t even get through dinner without making out. After sex she says she feels like there were 8 of him.

Doug and Dean can’t handle lack of drugs. Everything on their super list is lame. Doug is amazed by the size of his feet. They give up the being sober and decide to do it in shifts.

Silas sees the stepsister and asks if she wants to swim. She’s busy reading. What’s he reading? He’s…”between” books. He asks for a recommendation and she says she’ll make a list. She reveals to Nancy that she has a 32 year old lover. The baby refuses to latch on. She suggests they get lunch together to get to know each other but Aveletta says she’s not interested in being involved with her dad’s love life.

More sex for Andy and Alanis.

Esteban is happy. Everyone still supports Esteban. The people have spoken. They think they can get clean money for him to campaign with. He says Silas isn’t in his daughter’s league. She asks why. He’s a nice, simple boy. Aveletta speaks 3 languages and she will go to Berkley in a year. She tells him he’s sleeping on the sofa.

Nancy and Ms. You’re Pretty finished shopping and then make out in the doorway. Celia doesn’t seem to struggle with the gay part. She then asks how the strap on works and is assured that they will get there. (Certainly a story line I didn’t see coming.)

Shane is looking for gauze in the bathroom. Nancy wants to help. Cute mother-son moment. Silas is reading a book but gives up quickly. Shane leaves before she can actually help.

Doug and Dean have marker all over themselves. It seems shifts didn’t work well. They are awakened by Isabelle who becomes the mastermind of getting back at Celia.

Esteban is on his laptop. Nancy wants the baby to go elsewhere when he’s old enough. She’s upset for messing up her kids. He’s read about formula and changed his mind. Breast feeding is better. She says he doesn’t want her milk, maybe she’s toxic. He has a twitter account to connect with his followers. They’re opening up an office for him.

The bodyguard arranged what Nancy wanted. Esteban mingles and does his job when police show up and pull out guns. He’s under suspicion of conspiracy, racketeering, and tax evasion. Look at Pilar always one upping everyone.

Weeds: Perro Insano


Nancy is freaking out about Shane’s gunshot wound. Her bodyguard was a nurse in the army it turns out. They can’t go to the hospital because the hospital has to report GSWs.

Doug is frustrated that his “You’re Pretty” make up but no one wants to buy. Until a woman shows up for eyeshadow because she recently bought from Celia. He finds out that Celia has been selling weed.

Doctor Alanis helps Shame fix his arm. Everyone gives Shane things to make him feel better and talks to him. Nancy apologizes to Shane. He says he’s fine. She says she will make sure he never gets hurt again. Shane tells her to worry about the baby. She starts crying.

Celia walks into a boxing locker room and meets Perro Insano. She wants to get weed from him. He does some uncomfortable stretching while they talk. He agrees for 20% bonus after first delivery.

Nancy asks the bodyguard if the bullet was meant for her. Ah, it was Pilar! She pulls a gun on him. She realizes that he was the one who helped set her up. He says he saved her life because he realized Esteban loved her (and his happiness relies on Esteban’s happiness). She shoots him in the arm.

Andy walks in on Doctor Alanis as she steals medical supplies from Esteban. He wants her to go to Jazz with her. She says no, he’s obsessed with Nancy still. He says he’s just trying to be responsible but he’s over her. She’s making an excuse not to be happy.

Shane sits holding his percoset when Silas comes in. He hasn’t taken any pills. He likes the way the pain feels. He doesn’t want to get rid of it. He likes not being able to think about anything else.

Dean helps Celia move in to her weed up to her new place. Dean is impressed by the security of her place. She tricks him into walking outside and then calls security on her.

Nancy tells Silas she wants to send him abroad. Esteban comes in saying he’s been replaced for governor.

Doug confronts Dean about the drugs. Dean says they’re even. Doug says only if he dips his penis in hot coffee. He does it.

Nancy asks why he isn’t fighting to win. He says Pilar has the army. Esteban says now they can be married. He doesn’t want to put her in any more danger. She tells him if he can win independently, he should go for it.

Silas declines the offer to go abroad. They say it isn’t up for discussion. They want one less son to be taken care of. Silas doesn’t want to leave his brothers alone. Shane is in the pool complaining because he wants another beer. Silas plans to move in. He also tells them it’s time to get married and Esteban had better protect them.

Andy comes in holding the forms needed to put Esteban’s name on the birth certificate. She asks if he has plans. He says he’s going to figure out his life. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and they decide they are happy for each other.

It;s wedding time. (The wedding came is an Entennman’s cake. Not even the best kind!)

Nancy visits jail once again for a fake conjugal visit. She’s come to say she wants Pilar dead. Then she offers him some cake.

Weeds Suck N Spit

Esteban’s steaming about the baby being raised Jewish. Nancy’s not even Jewish!

Nancy goes to Andy’s room because the arcade game is keeping her up. He ignores her requests for the bed so she climbs in anyway. Andy says he has rules then. She doesn’t care she needs sleep. The baby wakes up and she tells him to go take care of him. He wakes up through the night and Nancy keeps sending Andy in to feed and clean him. parenting is feeding, shit, and love buried under shit.

Hodes tells Silas and Doug that he was mugged. Silas punches him. A couple girls come in to tell Shane they may have chlamydia. Andy walks in on them checking if Shane has it.

Celia does her sales pitch with the drugs. The fire alarm goes off and one woman breaks it. Sure enough Celia’s plan is taking off.

Andy says sex is awesome and they all enjoy it so why shouldn’t Shane? It’s not chlamydia but he does have a yeast infection. Nancy tells Andy he must be a parent not buddy.

Esteban talks to that woman (the one who would eat her kids) She says love is hardly worth it. She knows what it’s like to fall for the wrong person. He should be clear-headed. She proposes a new woman for him.

Andy drinks for the first time in months. Andy says the human body is a sewer (traumatized by a diaper change). Nancy’s in pain because she didn’t pump her breast milk but when she goes to the bathroom to do it the pump dies. She calls Andy to come in.

Silas and Doug discuss the end of their business. Celia brags about her sales.

Nancy’s in pain and wants Andy to suck the milk out.He does. Later that night Nancy asks why the bed’s moving. He’s jerking off. Nancy says it’s too weird. She goes to the baby and tells him to take his Andy time on his side of the bed.

Back at You’re Pretty. Doug shows up. The owner kicks him out because he’s a man and it’s for women who have never had the opportunity to succeed. He says he’ll sue for discrimination. She says she’ll sell him if he gets out.

Esteban’s preparing for his new date, trying to convince himself he wants it.

Esteban shows up to find Nancy and Andy in bed together. Pillow wall, small house…Esteban has news. He wants Nancy to marry him. She says they’ve had this discussion already. When Andy comes downstairs he bribes Shane to find out what they’re talking about. Nancy doesn’t want to be a secret fiance. Last night he went on a date with “the right woman” but he wants to be with her. Someone shoots at Nancy and Esteban’s bodyguard shoots back. Shane’s been shot.

Weeds- A Distinctive Horn

Finally, an episode where something happens! Until now everything has felt as though it’s just setting the stage, but now the baby has arrived!

Last week: Realizing that Esteban wants her to have the baby off the books, leaving no trail that it is his so she insists on inducing. Esteban is pretty pissed when he finds out though seeing his son helps calm him. Celia goes into the make up selling business (hooray Death of a Salesman references) and has no success, possibly because she can’t seem to put make up on people very well. Silas and Doug’s marijuana business runs into police trouble and they call on Celia’s ex husband (Dean) to bail them out (only to discover that he’s upset for not being brought in on the deal in the first place.)

Nancy wakes up to find a strange woman standing over her baby. The woman tells Nancy not to interrupt her because it’s impolite. “And breeches of etiquette make me want to throw things.” By throw things she of course means the baby. She tells Nancy why she’s never had children (“because you’d eat them and children are super fattening?” Nancy asks), they are inconvenient and complicated. She says the baby was a mistake that will end Esteban’s career and it is her job to prevent it.

Celia arrives at “You’re Pretty!” to talk to the owner about her lack of success. No one wants to buy the make up and she wants out. Did you know that poor people make the most make up? Right…Cece (apparently Celia’s alter ego according to the owner) sells a lifestyle and she had better sell everything. If she doesn’t pay she’ll go to jail. Cece must sell the You’re Pretty dream so that Celia doesn’t have to live the you’re ugly and behind bars lifestyle.

Nancy tells Esteban that according to Esteban’s “friend” and the baby’s birth certificate, he is not the father. His name will never be on the birth certificate. She says he should stand up to the woman. He says it isn’t that easy. When Esteban leaves, Nnacy puts Andy’s name on the birth certificate.

Dean asks why he should help. Silas begs for help but Doug acts like a jerk. (Doug says he didn’t cut him in because he’s cursed with schmuckness) Dean says he’ll represent them if he gets to slam Doug’s pride and joy in a drawer. Doug agrees “if I’m hard it won’t be so bad.” This is certainly one way of doing business. Yes it is.

Nancy gets home with the baby, who still has no name. Shane and Silas sit and stare at their new half-brother. He’s kind of cute. Shane says “who cares, he’s probably going to end up wanting to play soccer.” Nancy wants her bedroom back now, but Andy doesn’t want to give it back. Andy just found out about his name on the birth certificate. He says he refuses to sign and doesn’t want to do it. She says she has nobody else but he won’t budge.

Celia comes to Dean to get out of her contract. He says she’s screwed. She sees the weed that he managed to recover for Doug and Silas. Celia points out that she could sell more make up if she gives a free gift of weed with the purchase. He just needs to say he was ripped off by black people. They’ll believe the bruises. “What bruises?” She decks him.

Andy shaved! He is standing outside Nancy’s doctor’s office where there’s a man protesting abortion. He’s thrilled at having said no to Nancy. The doctor walks out wearing armor, holding a cigarette, and sees him. He asks her out and she agrees. She’ll know his car by its distinctive horn.

Peta arrives at the house. When she sees that Peta will leave if she doesn’t get a bedroom, Nancy says she’ll sleep on the couch. Peta has a bunch of requirements which Nancy readily agrees to. Anything to have someone watch over the baby.

On the date…they talk and things seem ok until the doc says it’s getting late and she says she should go home. She’s passed him in life. Apparently two dollar tacos isn’t dazzling. She’s not so gentle on the rejection. She’s too good for him and his game playing ways. She doesn’t even want him to drive her home–she’d rather find a car where the doors open.

It’s time to name the baby. Andy comes in and says he will sign the birth certificate, if he can really raise the baby. He wants something that matters in his life. And the baby will be Jewish. Nancy has Andy change the baby. He’s actually really cute with the baby. Andy wants the baby to have a bris. Done and done. Shane thinks it’s a barbaric ritual. At the bris, the doctor is playing Pacman and Andy points out that she’s a doctor and “so beyond that.” She says she had no idea the game was so addictive. He asks if she’s there because she likes him, she says it’s because she’s fascinated to the drama of their family. He’s almost inclined not to ask her out again because she was mean. Almost.

Celia has convinced Dean to join her make up selling scam. He compliments her on how she looks and they have an awkward moment.

Doug asks the Rabbi if he can do anything for his injured parts. Rabbi recommends a doctor but Doug has no insurance. Ouch and awkward…

Esteban enters the party. He does not approve. His son is not Jewish. The baby’s hebrew name is Avi Melech (my father the king) in English it’s Steven Ray Botwin. Esteban wants to talk to her in private. He says his son will be baptized in a church. Sorry, he’s Jewish. Esteban insists he’s the father and gets to choose. Nancy said he lost his chance. Esteban says his son won’t be raised by Andy a pendejo (basically a dummy or a nerd–thanks Andrew!). Nancy says Andy sticks around and fights for what he loves at least. Her son won’t see or know Esteban. Esteban grabs Nancy’s hands and says “he is mine!” (Dude, it’s a baby not a football.) Nancy tells him he’s lost the baby. Esteban finally storms out. She watches him go and then Andy comes in with the baby.

What will Esteban do to get his baby back? Can he do anything?