The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Who Do You Trust?

Adrian is PREGNANT! Like mega-pregnant. And she’s packing tons of health foods, just for snacks. Ben meanwhile is in charge of lunches. Amy comes and sounds genuinely happy/supportive about the fact that Adrian looks happy. Adrian and Ben can’t wait because today is the day they find out the sex of the baby…they’re holding hands and it is a “we”. Grace is obsessed with her “we learned it at med-camp stuff.

Amy and pals discuss whether or not they and/or their respective boys have had sex over the summer. Amy says she’s ready to have sex with Ricky and wants him to get tested. Yeah…this seems like a good plan. Ricky then talks to some high-pitched girl that he once slept with. Then another girl. He’s just dating Amy right now. Ruthie from 7th Heaven tells Ricky he probably has an STI because he’s slept with everyone and by extension everyone they’ve slept with. (What will probably be the best moment of the night–Lucy of 7th Heaven, the new guidance counselor, spotting Ruthie in the hall.)

Amy wants the old guidance counselor’s address to send her a gift. Ashley wants to get some forms for homeschooling, to teach herself. Ms. O’Malley wants to talk about it so Ashley tells her that she basically hates everything about school (hallways and bells and stairs and lockers and rules and people who try to help). The Juergens parents got divorced over the summer and she is not speaking to her ex. who Grace is now dating.

Grace informs Adrian that Tom is working as the VP of HR for some company “he diminishes the potential for a lawsuit.” (As in people are too afraid to complain to him?) Grace and the bf have had sex and want to talk to her mom about it.

Jack gets the bad news that Madison met a new guy. Nothing has happened but he’s interested. Jesse says to Lauren that “things happen” meaning he met someone too? He’s a senior and when he goes away to school he doesn’t think he wants a long distance relationship. (I wasn’t very attached to him anyway so that’s fine.)

Ricky doesn’t want to get tested so maybe they’ll have to go back to where they were. But she’s all cheery and “it’s up to you.” Ashley interrupts to get a ride home and uses the opportunity to scare Ricky into thinking Amy wants marriage.

George is the stay at home dad (where did Annie go?) and he’s okay with Ashley being home-schooled. She brings up having sex with Ricky, naturally. The discussion turns to whether or not she will sleep with him if he gets an STI and if he doesn’t want to get married.

Ricky finally goes to the clinic to get tested when of course his foster mother comes in–she wasn’t supposed to be working. She’d have come if he asked her. His mom thinks this a good, responsible thing to do. He says he always uses a condom so he should be fine.

Adrian, who is apparently only halfway through her pregnancy despite looking as big as a house. Ben hasn’t come in with her before and he’s squeamish but she convinces him to come. This is his baby. He’s afraid to do or say something wrong. She says it’s too late for that. (If all the times to be squeamish!)

Tom is enjoying his job when some guy comes in because he has issues with Milton. (He’s uncomfortable talking to Tom at first but then gives in.) He says he won’t be an idiot to work for Milton the idiot and he quits. Milton is thrilled that he won’t have to pay unemployment.

Madison tells her dad about the boy she wants to date that she didn’t mention all summer. They couldn’t date during the summer because they were co-workers. He was her boss. He’s 20, three years older. Now he wants her to see Jack! He’s still in high school, kind of. He’s divorced after a bad marriage in high school. Sammy is a nice, mature guy, apparently.

Grace and the bf, Grant, talk to her mom about how they’re still together after “all that time” which is long than her mom waited. She wants them to continue waiting obviously. Grace doesn’t want to wait though. At least they thought about it and are prepared but they should get tested before they do anything. Time for some private talk. Grant has only had sex with one person and didn’t always have sex with a condom. Grace had sex with Jack who had sex with Adrian who had sex with Ricky (and everyone) who slept with everyone. Grace isn’t even sure she always used a condom with Jack. She refuses to get tested. Then they’ll have to wait because now Grant isn’t comfortable. Jack’s been tested but he recommends that Grace get tested.

Ricky tells Amy he got tested. Amy’s response: “Oh.” She would have come with him because it can be emotional but he says that’s only a girl thing. That’s why you’re being so snappy with everyone! He’s worried though.

Annie gets a call from Ashley and says she isn’t thrilled with the home-schooling. What’s the best thing for her? Ashley says she will never marry. But she plans to get her license. Annie is now happy.

Adrian’s parents are saying they’d like a boy. Or a girl. When can they get excited about it? Well Ruben is excited, Cindy isn’t. Ruben still thinks they should get married. In comes the happy unwed couple…and guess what: it’s a girl! (I totally thought it would be a boy, not sure why.) Betty is thrilled, she wanted a girl. Betty asks if the ring is still good. (You know the one she gave away and turned out to be so expensive.) Ben was amazed by the heartbeat. And he didn’t even pass out! His dad wants to know if he’s thinking about the wedding option at this point.

Ricky is still in panic mode when he gets a call, which he ignores. His mother’s at the door, she’s out of jail. She’s staying with him for a bit until she can find a place of her own.

Well, I think this is the first time that we’ve gotten through an episode without Amy crying. Better or worse? This episode felt like a lot of exposition and very little happening (in fact, nothing actually happened other than Ricky getting the test but he didn’t even find the results). I’ve always been a little iffy on this show, but after this episode, I’m finding myself liking it even less (despite the lack of conversations on the phone, compared to usual).

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