ANTM: Cycle 16 Episode 5

Kasia’s screen grab is not nearly as good as her commercial was. Dalya, meanwhile is all “I’ve been modeling forever and I’m awesome…” She thinks the girls don’t know how big a deal it is to be a Cover Girl. Alexandria is surprised to hear that people think she was trying to direct–she also informs us that she’s a sunny positive person. Molly just wants out of her new weave which has given her a rash. Alexandria freaks out about her missing towel and the girls gossip about her awfulness.

The challenge is to make a cover girl mini commercial for the internet. The product is a foundation. They will be working in teams and need to be both interesting and informative. Can you imagine a company ever saying to their model “go write us a commercial?” These be creative challenges are the least realistic and translatable to real world skills in their career path. The groups consist of a director, writer, and talent, but Alexandria seems to misunderstand what not being the writer means. When she gets called out on her bad attitude she decides she doesn’t feel like acting now and she’s the talent after all.

Team 1- Brittani (director), Mikaela (writer), and Kasia (talent) go first and Mikaela has a hard time on her lines, which leads to a lot of cursing. (They must get a single continuous script in ten minutes.) But ultimately she was relatable.

Team 2- Dalya (talent), Hannah (director), and Jaclyn (writer) don’t write their lines out. Instead they pick talking points that Dalya has to hit. She has a hard time getting comfortable, remembering to say the product name, and basically sounding any good. Not informative enough.

Team 3- Monique (director), Molly (writer), and Alexandria (talent/writer/director). Monique stays calm as Alexandria continues to be problematic and has a hard time getting the take. Jay calls Alexandria out for calling action once again though she claims she was just saying it to herself (like that makes any sense).

The winner is Team 1 (a little unfortunate that only Mikaela is actually on camera. Meanwhile the girls continue hoping Alexandria gets sent home.

Tyra Mail: “Tomorrow get ready to take a walk on the wild side.” Wild animals, they guess. Or a movement shoot.

Alexandria gives us a sob story about how she had to be protective of her siblings because her mother died and therefore she had to grow up fast and is now “wise beyond her years.” She thinks if girls knew this they would understand. The girls wonder how Alexandria feels about them and if she’s taking medicine so they opt for reading her diary. “It’s bad, it’s bad!” Monique shouts. They realize that Alexandria wrote nothing about them and feel bad but decide not to tell her (you know this is going to be on national television right?)

The shoot takes place in the old LA zoo where they are transformed into fashion versions of animals–haven’t we done this before? Up side, they will be wearing clothes from Rachel Zoe’s faux-fur collection and RZ will be a guest judge. Yay! (She’s a little bit of everywhere thanks to her show. How many celebrity stylists do people actually know?) But there’s one more surprise: a baby jaguar to join them in the shoot. I’m kind of jealous. Monique hates cats but Molly thinks he’s adorable.

Hannah and Brittani look fierce. Mikaela just sat there. Kasia struggles with the cat. Jaclyn is very feline. Dalya’s poses are too obvious for Jay’s taste. Monique was comfortable and had no problems. Molly thinks she was screwed because the jaguar became cranky–she was too June Cleaver-like. Alexandria is too hoochie and mommy-like and then starts barking–but apparently hissing does the trick.

At judging we are informed that stylists decide on who the next top models are going to be. Really now?

• Jackie– her shot is bizarre (a little climax-y) but the judges like it. One of the best.
• Mikaela– RZ loves her shoes. Her picture is flat but Nigel likes that she stands out. More body tension! All about her eyes.
• Molly– Tyra announces her intention to be rid of the weave. The face is interesting but the fashion is missing.
• Monique– Pulled it off but lucked out with the cat yawning. Vampire Diaries looking for her next victim.
• Kasia– Eighties-like picture. They like it but I think this is so unflattering. Tyra says she lucked out on the good shot. ALT thinks fantastic. RZ thought she’d be catalogue but the picture to her said maybe editorial.
• Dalya– Her head looks enormous and she appears desperate apparently. You can’t just stand still, create shapes. Not fashion.
• Brittani– fabulous, fabulous, contessa-like. Everyone wants the coat. Makes it look expensive.
• Alexandria– Without the animal the picture wouldn’t be great but with the jaguar it looks pretty excellent. Not high fashion but Tyra wishes she had done more. Just an ugly-pretty face.
• Hannah– Lush. (Inspires an Elvis impression and a Jamaican accent out of Tyra…right.) Iconic.

Best picture of the week goes to: Hannah. Runner up: Brittani (that was a no brainer). Alexandria is called fourth which is a bit surprising. Molly and Dalya please step forward. I will only call one name…Molly. (Oh good, Dalya was getting on my nerves.) Time for Molly to get rid of the weave. Tyra says this won’t fix her pictures, it has to come inside of her. (Tyra, it will make her feel better without that thing on her head, which somehow seems bigger than last week.)