America’s Next Top Model: Cycle 16

For some reason the show has decided to completely cut out the casting episode (the one where we meet like 30 girls and watch them get whittled down to the actual number of girls) and jumped straight to the Top 14. But first, we get a fantastically crazy Tyra segment (where her hair looks super cute, which gives me hope because some of her outfits…) where she discussed the types of contestants:

  1. The shrieky girl obsessed with Hello Kitty who won’t cut her hair (who doesn’t know what she’s doing)
  2. The super attitude girl who isn’t there to make friends (named Angora Nylandra Taffetia Michaels)
  3. The goth/emo/awkward one who doesn’t know what she’s doing there but is super good at posing anyway

Before the girls move in they are going to be tricked into thinking they have been cut from the competition because modeling is all about rejection. Tyra was rejected by six agencies! (Bet they’re hating themselves now.) She still gets rejected sometimes. (Really?)

The girls:

  • Brittani has panic attacks and grew up in a trailer.
  • Jaclyn has zero confidence because of her “baby face.”
  • Alexandria is tough and tough to deal with.
  • Monique is too sexy.
  • Kasia is plus-sized and fiercly real (she’s been in V Magazine).
  • Androgynous Sarah has a weird rattail thing. She also is apparently “really good at high fives.”
  • Dominique is freckle-faced.
  • Ondrei is petite.
  • Nicole is elegant.
  • Hannah is a hippy.
  • Molly is a golden-haired athlete.
  • Dalya is regal.
  • Mikaela is edgy.
  • Angelia is sassy and an army brat.

The show pretended this was a real casting week and made them go through the pictures and runways. Out come the Jays with manilla envelopes. No panel this time around. The girls who have envelopes without a photo will be going home. This makes me more sorry for the girls who thought they were staying but won’t be. That’s more awful than the girls thinking they would be leaving. (Maybe they’re actresses?) The Jays take the photo-ed girls away and we watch the actual contestants cry and comfort each other. Their luggage has been thrown in a corner which made them feel worse. The casting producer tells them Tyra wants to come and say goodbye. Minus the weird jacket and huge bowtie, she looks cute. They have to go home now, but not far, BECAUSE THEY’RE HOME! Sheets drop and they are shown their house. More crying and screaming. Because it’s cycle 16, the loft is filled with pictures of Tyra at age 16.

Dominique figures out that there are two more people than beds so it must be that two people are about to go home. Or they missed a room or some beds are bigger and meant to be shared? But we aren’t shown those so it seems unlikely.

First Tyra Mail: “Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we?” The girls guess bowling. I guess that’s possible…

Model Erin Wasson is on the scene of their first runway show because she is also a stylist and jewelry designer. Busy girl. They will be modeling Alexander Wang dresses and her jewelry. The runway will be twelve inches wide, suspended over water, and they will be walking in a bubble (so they won’t ruin the dresses if they fall off I’m guessing–I really hope someone falls off). Jaclyn fears being trapped in the bubble for the rest of her life. But first they will do a photoshoot before they go out because that is how they do it. Russell James will be the photographer. (He shoots Victoria’s Secret.)

Backstage has become extremely important and Russell takes pictures of them as they get their makeup done. Alexandria tends to push her lower lip out but she has swag. Sara just looks terrified. Kasia thinks she has a leg up because of her experience. it actually looks like a number of them know how to take pictures.

The runway show is meant to be elegant and chic. (Is some guy adding water to the runway?) Erin will also be a judge at panel. Alexandria faulters but stays up. (PS in the bubble are confetti.) Ondrei has dress issues and keeps pulling it awkwardly. She is the first to fall and it sounds pretty hard. As expected, it was nearly impossible for her to get out of the water. Molly has no problems. Sarah stomps her way through and falls but is playful with it. Kasia is slightly awkward. Hannah reminds me of doe-eyed Hannah. Brittani is pretty excellent. Jaclyn makes a swimming motion? Angelia looks like she’s going to topple at any moment but manages. Dominique also stomps and thinks her bubble was defective. She too falls off and struggles to get out though she tries to keep up appearance with some poses and a smile. Dalya walks with her hands on her hips. (Sorry Wang, not a fan of these outfits.) Erin gives the girls some jewelry as a gift.

Skull and crossbones appears in place of Tyra Mail, warning of elimination. Only 13 will be moving on to become America’s Next Top Model.

Alexandria tries to give self-conscious Jaclyn some pointers (she has apparently done a couple fashion weeks) which gets annoying for some people. To quote Jaclyn: “I feel like you’re my mother.”

Tyra’s shirt of Andre is actually super cute. She looks better than I have seen her in at a judging in a long time. Cycle 16 is still all about high fashion. Good! I like it that way, the shoots are more interesting that way. (Does anyone else wonder why it’s Italian Vogue not regular Vogue?)

The Judging:

  • Up first is Alexandria who has an interesting and dramatic picture. If you didn’t see the makeup artists, you wouldn’t know it was behind the scenes.
  • Dalya’s picture is sweet and it shows off her natural beauty.
  • Nicole was found on Tyra’s website. Her picture is dramatic but it is difficult to find her. (She photographs old.)
  • Sarah hasn’t figured out what to do with herself.
  • Ondrei splits the panel. The nerves come through.
  • Angelia’s picture is mysterious. Tyra doesn’t see a model in it.
  • Hannah’s shot is from the group picture, which is even more impressive. She looks like a young Jennifer Aniston (you know you’re getting old when people say someone looks like a young version of you).
  • Kasia’s personality does not come across in her photo but she has an Eastern European look.
  • Monique’s is a real moment.
  • Mikaela looks like a star. (I hate her eyebrows though Nigel thinks they’re amazing.)
  • Dominique is just there in the picture. Erin points out that again the personality isn’t there.
  • Jaclyn’s picture looks cinematic. This was her only good shot though. She needs to use the muscles in her face more. She is “drink a sweet tea on the porch in Texas.”
  • Molly gets critiqued for her midriff bearing outfit but Nigel thinks her shot is one of the best.
  • Brittani also gets critiqued for her outfit. Her picture is unique because of the moment it captured. It’s sort of creepy cool.
  • I still wish the runway was a bigger deal than it is considered.

    The judges have reached a decision. Molly gets photo of the week. Brittani is runner up. Down to the bottom two, which is Dominique and Angelia. Dominique fights tears, Angelia sort of fights a smirk. Angelia’s picture lacked emotion. Dominique’s picture lacked personality. So who stays? Dominique.


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