Guess who is back in town with newly dyed blond hair?!? Georgina Sparks! She seems to be hiding.
Lily gives Rufus a pep talk about how teenage girls are impossible. It’s not much of a pep talk. Grounding her won’t work. Will sending her away work? Lily thinks it won’t work and he thinks Eric and Jenny need each other. Eric recommends sending her away quickly.
Jenny mopes and Nate wakes up beside her. She says he’s here for her but he doesn’t want her to get the wrong impression. She gets it, Serena loves him. Chuck comes in, Nate tries to cover but Chuck says he knows nothing happened. Chuck warns him to be careful. He and Serena are on thin ice. Chuck thinks he’s about to save his relationship.
Dorota is too pregnant to do much. Her parents ask if Blair intends to come to Paris with them. Dorota says Blair loves Chuck and should admit it (using the Empire State Building as a euphemism, of course). Blair wants Dorota to keep her away from Chuck’s plan. Dorota tries to talk her out of it.
Georgina arrives at Chuck’s. She says she needs help and is scared, she doesn’t want revenge. The Russians don’t mess around. (Though the issues she’s “scared of” seem like a non-issue.) He’s unsympathetic and kicks her out.
Jenny meanwhile is up to her usual mischief when she spots Serena and Dan sleeping in the same bed (like her and Nate?!?). She takes pictures of them for GG. Dan wakes up when Nate calls Serena’s phone and hits ignore. She says last night was a mistake. They just fell asleep after wine, talking, and a kiss. She freaks out. He does too. They’re in love with their couples. They debate telling anyone and decide no, which doesn’t matter because GG will reveal it all of course.
Sure enough, GG text goes out shortly. Is it strange that Nate gets it? And Dan? (I guess lots of scandal comes out that way so good to be in the loop.) Dan manages to figure out its Jenny because she made the not so brilliant move to lave a coffee cup with her name on it on the counter. Serena calls Blair (and Blair reveals that Georgina may be a Russian mail order bride). Blair realizes Jenny is in Brooklyn and she has an idea.
Serena calls Dan to make sure they’re on the same page. They are. Dan reveals to Rufus that she wasn’t home all night. He says Jenny is out of control and has to be stopped.
Serena gets to Nate and Chuck’s but Nate isn’t there. Chuck suggests she tell Nate if she really loves him and if not, stop playing games. Nate comes in and he’s upset but she tells him nothing happened and he forgives her. Remember when Jenny slept in your bed last night?
Blair finds Jenny and plans to give her “the smack down she so richly deserves.” Blair says she will never be a part of their world. Nate and Serena are mythic and she’s hurting people they both love. Jenny says she wasn’t trying to. No one loves Jenny except Rufus and who knows if that’s even true anymore after everything that happened. In comes Rufus. Time to find out…Blaire spots Dan, yells at him. Dan says to her nothing happened. She doesn’t believe him. He asks what if the world is giving him signs and he was too afraid to follow them. She says signs are for the lower class but then she spots the Empire State Building and decides to go to Chuck. But then Dorota’s water breaks. Maybe that’s a sign.
Rufus sits with Jenny and says they’ve decided she will be spending the summer and the next year with her mother. Jenny says the city is all she has but he says it’s done. No more Jenny?!?!
At the hospital, all arrive. Dorota urges Blair to go to Chuck but she says she can’t go. She insists so Blair goes (not that she couldn’t just text Chuck or something). Dan and Serena arrive. Dan’s been feeling guilty. Serena doesn’t want to say anything to Nate but he overhears it. Georgina spots Blair and asks her to stop. She needs to talk to her…Blair doesn’t care and runs off. I kind of feel bad for her.
Nate says a kiss isn’t nothing. A kiss means feelings. Right?!?! Nate stalks off all pissed. Then he sits by himself and stares at his phone and does things I’m not entirely clear on.
Dorota has a baby girl.
Blair reaches the Empire State Building. She can’t find Chuck and finds the flowers in the garbage. I repeat. Text.
Jenny comes looking for Nate. Chuck is there. He’s upset that his plan didn’t work. Jenny says she’s sorry. She’ll go since Nate’s not here. Chuck says she can stay. Not like she hasn’t done it before. But that was with Nate! Chuck offers her alcohol instead. Chuck says the world she’s looking for only exists on the outside. He always knew it was empty and now she knows too. She found out the hard way. He points out that the hard way is the only way. And naturally, they make out because wouldn’t you want to be with your once attempted rapist? So they go to bed.
Dan and Serena meet up outside the baby ward (with Georgina skulking around the corner). They play the “who will that baby grow up to be” game. Georgina intends to do something that will make everyone else hate her.
Ellenore Waldorf is enamored with the baby and is made the godmother.
Serena feels terrible about what happened with Nate. Dan needs to talk to Vanessa. They debate the merits of being in a relationship with a stranger vs a friend and almost kiss again when Dan gets a text from Vanessa. Nate sent her the photo.
Jenny is sulking in Chuck’s bed and he tells her she can stay the night. I don’t know if they’re supposed to have slept together. Someone comes in and it’s Blair. He tells Blair no one is inside. He’s surprised. She pulls out the flowers and he realizes she went. Jenny meanwhile opens something in his room. Blair says she tried not to but she couldn’t help it. She loves him. Jenny puts out the candlelight to ensure that Blair can’t see her (is that to save him or herself?) and starts making the bed. He makes an excuse to go into his room and finds it empty.
Eric finds Jenny crying and she tells him to go away. He says no. He’s still here for her. She says she’ll do something to let him down and he’ll turn his back like everyone else. Everyone hates her, even Chuck. What did she do to Chuck? Ah, so they did sleep together. Why would you do that? They were sad. She didn’t do it with Damion, it was her first time. She asks him not to tell.
Nate is met by Serena who wants to talk. She thought she’d stop making the same mistakes once her dad came back and she thinks she needs to be alone for awhile. He’s forgiven her! He says he won’t wait around for her. If she’s out, she’s out. She says that’s fair. She loves him, but if they have a real chance, this is the only way.
Eric finds Dan to help Jenny. Dan goes to see.
Chuck and Blair walk arm in arm. She says the night is perfect. He says there is one thing to make it better. He apologizes and pulls out a ring box. And is about to propose when Dan punches him. Dan tells him to tell her. Tell her what? Blair figures it out and tells Jenny to get out of Manhattan and never come back or else she will destroy her. Jenny tries to apologize. Rufus and Lily arrive and Jenny turns to him for comfort. Serena arrives and sees but Dan pulls her away. Chuck tries to apologize and she doesn’t want to here. This whole night didn’t happen. She leaves.
can Georgina even make this worse?
One week later…Jenny leaves, willingly this time. There’s nothing here for her. Eric says he is and he doesn’t want her to go. She’s still his best friend. Apparently Serena isn’t interested in saying goodbye. Can’t say I blame her. Can we throw a party together?
Serena is excited to have nothing to do. Blair points out that Serena’s life is like summer. Serena intends to change. Blair is going to Paris to find love. She wants Serena to come. She was planning on Yoga. They’ve never been single together…how can she say no to Paris. They have each other, they’ll be ok.
Dan and Nate apologize to each other. Vanessa isn’t speaking to him at the moment. He wants to explain what happened. Chuck left to Prague and Nate intends to use his Little Black Book he’s with some women and alcohol. Dan passes.
Dan calls Serena instead of writing his email and tells her to call when she gets back. He says that’s fine but instead he decides to buy a ticket to France when Georgina arrives with brown hair. She has something of his…A baby!
Nate, you know better than meaningless sex. You know from Chuck that it doesn’t work.
Chuck in Prague is mugged and they steal his ring. He struggles and gets shot and the muggers run off. (I was going to say the show should have ended with Georgina’s revelation, but nevermind.)