Gossip Girl: Inglorious Bassterds

Before I start my recap, I will say that I hear rumors that something big will happen with Jenny’s character and that she will be MIA for a bit. I heard those rumors and I found myself thinking: I’m not sure I care if she’s not on the show. I wondered why since originally when we were getting nothing about her queen bee status in school I wanted them to go back to her (or at least I was curious to see what was happening). I think I’ve figured out the issue. When we first met Blaire she was all evil. We saw almost zero goodness from her, may even none in the very beginning but the show skillfully showed us how there is more than meets the eye and that though Blaire can be awful she can be great too. The issue with Jenny is that the second she went sort of evil and bratty she lost any of her goodness (even when she felt bad for being mean to Eric she was cruel to him, for example) and so I found myself thinking she’s not even a good bad guy (let’s face it her schemes are less interesting and successful than Blaire’s ever were) so why bother? Blaire’s evilness did not come out of her being a teenager trying to prove herself. Jenny’s did. It’s much harder to sympathize with a whiny teen.

Now, onto the show. Serena is going through a bunch of weapons that she tells Nate were left out from one of Blaire and Chuck’s games. Which makes me wonder why she lies and tells him that the one strapped around her leg is for her cell phone. It’s Nate birthday and her surprise for him is…a benefit for an endangered toad. He’s a little disappointed. (She may be lying here.) Chuck bought a table. He has lunch with his grandfather meanwhile. Serena reveals to Dorota that they are making him think everyone is ignoring his birthday so that he’ll be really surprised for his party and a game of assassin. I love that Dorota is involved. She’s always been the best minion of all.

Chuck’s things are taken from his room. He asks Jack why he won’t give back the hotel. Jack says Bart said he was soft. Wounding him is done so why stay? Jack wants him to do something.

Eric met people in Tokyo but they’re sketchy so he unfriends them. Meanwhile Jenny is moping about wanting Nate and him being unavailable so when she hears everyone is pretending to blow off Nate’s birthday she decides to do something for him. Yeah, that will make him instantly forget about Serena and fall in love with you. Right. Didn’t they have their time together already? She excuses herself for the “fabric store.”

Dan is at his desk with lots of paper all over the place as he tries to finish his story for his Tisch Writing Application. V convinces him to let her read it in exchange for her script.

Sure enough, Jenny shows up at Nate’s (he has no cell because Serena stole it). Jenny says she was going to take him out to lunch but surely Serena already has plans…Jenny thanks him for last week and he cancels on his grandfather for lunch so he can go to lunch with her.

Serena feels guilty for disappointing Nate. Serena suggests Blaire show Chuck that he has more than just the empire. Along with a dress to buy. Jack comes up as Serena leaves. Blaire tells him Chuck will find a way to get the hotel back. He tells her he will let Chuck have it back if he lets Blaire spend the night back. She refuses in disgust. He tries to guilt her into it, saying they can keep it a secret.

Dan is bummed that V’s script isn’t good. He’s scared that in a relationship it will cause problems if he tells her the truth.

Nate and Jenny have lunch and he’s disappointed about Serena blowing off his birthday. She says she can come to him about her own problems but it’s about him right now and has the staff bring over a birthday gift. They don’t even sing!

Dan acts weird around V and she realizes he dislikes her script but when he sees how upset she is, he lies and says he loved it.

Rushing around to prep for the party when they realize they have to stall for the party so she calls Nate’s grandfather and discovers that Nate canceled. Jenny gets all lonely and mopey and he feels bad for leaving so he sits back down and says he’s sure Serena won’t mind him being late. Serena uses Gossip Girl to ask people to find him. Jenny sees this and suggests a movie (where no one can see him).

Blaire gets back from shopping, Chuck wonders at her lack of bags. He says Jack offered him nothing he’d ever considered. Maybe if he sees he can’t get what he wants he’ll stop toying with him? Instead Jack is just closing the hotel. It’s over. A package arrives for Blaire, obviously the dress from Jack that says “Your last chance to save your man.”

At the party Serena wonders where Nate is. Eric doesn’t know but he sees a picture on GG of Nate getting into a cab with some blond (not sure if Eric recognizes Jenny but we easily do). Blaire comes over to get Serena’s advice (opening it off with “you’ve done some awful things like have sex with Nate when we were saving ourselves for each other” never one for subtlety huh?). How far is too far? Is something awful to get back the empire out of love okay? Serena says if it requires crossing a moral line, then no. Also, Blaire invited her minions. Eric calls Jenny to bring Nate NOW! All wonder where the party boy is. Dan goes to get V’s camera when he sees that V has marked up his script and lied about it.

Blaire comes up to ask Chuck to come down. She tries to reassure him and he freaks out on her. He apologizes quickly. He’s everything Bart said he was. That could be a good thing Chuck, considering how much everyone hated him. And so when he walks out she considers the deal with Jack.

Serena is upset that Nate isn’t at the party. They had plans! He must think she’s awful. In comes Nate and Jenny who apologizes for them being late. Nate is thrilled. Serena explains assassin (it’s a little different than the version I know, involving pictures around their neck). Jenny pretends she was helping. Serena is still upset. Everyone’s really into this game and we get a sort of cool montage of pictures/cartoons of everyone playing. Dorota is so cute while playing and then the doorman proposes to her. SOOO CUTE! Of course she says yes and then someone gets her out. Eric nearly knocks him over and some guy helps him up. They flirt. Eric spots Jenny chasing Nate and sees he has to do something. Eric loses his picture along the way and the guy spots it. Dan reveals that he knows she read it. She didn’t know what to say. He’s mean about it and Serena gets him out. Eric gets in Jenny’s way and tries to get her out but he thinks she’s dead. She’s still upset about him ignoring their plans to spend the day with Jenny. He explains and now Serena feels bad. Jenny kills her while they kiss and make up.

Chuck is moping and Serena asks where Blaire is. He thinks she’s playing and Serena says her polaroid is still inside. He realize something is up and finds the note and box from Jack.

Blaire comes in wearing the dress. She looks miserable but he is pleased. She has had a contract drawn up and Chuck can never know. He signs and I wonder why she doesn’t just take it signed and leave. Maybe call the cops?

Jenny chases Nate to kill him (they’re the only ones left) and she locks them in a storeroom. Eric searches for the guy he met in the lobby. D comes to apologize to V and gives her a good piece of critique. She says she dislikes his subject and that when he writes about what he knows it’s even better.

Jenny flirts and pretends she will let him get her out. Instead she kisses him and steals his picture.

Jack tries to flirt first with some champagne. Jack leans in to kiss her, it’s gross. And that’s all. He’s happy. He prefers the woman to have sex with him. (Apparently he also has selective amnesia considering his assault on Lily. Apparently rape is a Bass trait.) So Jack reveals that Blaire gave her away for the hotel. All he wanted to do was destroy Chuck, in this case by destroying his relationship.

Nate and Jenny ride up in the elevator in silence and finally he says “what the hell was that?” He says they are just hanging out as friends. Nate does not seem thrilled though. Eric seems to know something was up.

Blaire gets back and finds Chuck. He’s mad at her. She’s mad at him. He couldn’t ask her because Jack would have known they were working together. He did what he had to. Chuck says he can’t let his feelings make him lose everything he’s built. He says she told him she’d stand by him through the worst thing he ever did. She never thought it would be to her. Goodbye. And it seems, Jack has won.

Serena apologizes to Nate for tricking him. He says best birthday ever. She says she still has a present for him. Eric says it’s time to leave. She’s upset and I don’t care.

V gets back inside and finds a letter waiting for her from a professor. The girl warns her that there are only a few spots in the NYU program. Good luck.

The guy Eric had met finds him. He’s searched the whole building for him.

Blaire cries. Chuck finds Jack who welcomes him home. Chuck kicks Jack out, insisting he and Blaire will get past it. Jack says she’s seen the real him and no one could ever love her. The empire is all he has now.

Sidenote: Minus Jenny’s brattiness, this is one of my favorite episodes in a long time. Scheming upon scheming, hope for Eric, some cool assassin scenes…


One Response to “Gossip Girl: Inglorious Bassterds”

  1. sarah Says:

    I agree, this was one of the better episodes. I can also do without little J…I know in the books she goes to boarding school and I thought that was where she was headed after the Damien thing…maybe she is now?? I haven’t heard many spoilers of GG this season, but I am glad chuck and blair are done, it was getting old. Don’t get me started on Van and Dan BORINGNESS….

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