Gossip Girl: The Sixteen Year Old Virgin

Jenny is snarky to her dad about not being aloud to do anything but go to school. The second she gets outside she calls for a car to take her to the Smith Hotel. Then she takes out her hair to make it look wild. (And druggy rather than sophisticated.)

Blaire talks to Elizabeth. Chuck has been out to see his lawyer meanwhile. Chuck has been sued for sexual harassment by his employees. He says he wouldn’t do that anymore, not to Blaire. He intends to settle just to avoid a trial. He doesn’t want his father’s honoring to be overshadows. Elizabeth is about to meet Chuck’s family. Blaire wants him to let Elizabeth in.

Lily arrives to check in on Jenny. She wants to ask Rufus something but his phone rings and he finds out that Jenny has been cutting classes all week.

Cut to…Serena and Dan having sex. (I think we’re supposed to think it’s Jenny and Damion.) Serena gets a text from Rufus. Serena says Rufus is driving Jenny to Damion by forbidding her to see him. She won’t let that happen! Yeah Serena like your plans ever work.

V and D are making out and he gets a call from Rufus. They want to keep their relationship casual which means not telling Rufus.

Jenny and Damion makeout and Damion is a little hands on. Jenny suddenly says she has to go because she has a quiz in Latin. He says whenever they get physical she bolts. He says he loves spending time with her but when he dates someone sex is usually part of the equation but if she’s uncomfortable she has to say something. She lies about being a virgin and pretends she just wants to take things slowly. So he suggests sex that night and she agrees.

Chuck, Blaire, and Elizabeth talk. Chuck invites her to the event honoring Bart and she readily accepts. Reporters hound them asking about the scandal and Chuck gets a call from his Uncle Jack.

Lily and Rufus discuss Jenny’s delinquency. She says it’s not so bad for her to cut school to be with her boyfriend. Lily wants to talk. She hopes Rufus will come to the honoring. He’s not in the mood though. He tries to get Serena again. She pulls the scarf out of her bag while he’s not looking and leaves it inside.

Jenny and Serena talk. Serena seems to be agreeing with Jenny. J thinks he listens and likes her. He treats her like an adult. It’s serious. J says it’s about to be serious…It’s her first time. They discuss J’s nerves. S tells her you can never get your virginity back. S wishes she’d waited for someone like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Then she says something about having to prepare for Chuck’s party and Nate takes her to dinner.

Jack claims he’s come to protect him. C doesn’t believe him. Jack says he’s sure Elizabeth is lying. He says he’s seen her body before she was buried. Blaire sees him and she’s upset. She thinks he leaked the story. He says he hasn’t done it. B says he’ll never get C’s empire.

S tells Nate she has a plan. She wants to show J that he’s bad. She invited him over for lunch and wants them to walk in on him in the way. She’s sure her plan will work. She wants 45 minutes.

Dan and Rufus talk about girls, forbidden relationships, and vampires. He tries to avoid admitting his relationship with V but his dad can tell he’s lying. V walks in before he can manage. She’s about to kiss him when Rufus walks out and he freaks out. He wants to define friend-only zones. He’ll draw a map to define it. V doesn’t love the zone rule.

Damion says he’s almost called her a million times to apologize for the dinner. She apologizes too. She says she and Nate are over. She makes a move and he pulls back. He says he’s dating Jenny and really likes her. Serena calls Dan but he ignores it. J wants to know what’s going on. Rufus showed up. It seems Nate has called him. Rufus intends to have her chaperoned at all times. She says he can’t treat her as a child so he says she acts like one. She says he jumps to conclusions and they weren’t Damion’s pills. Really J that’s you’re argument? A lie? She storms away and then he sees the scarf.

Elizabeth brings a bowtie for Chuck to wear. It’s purple. He only wears purple because C loved it. Or did he? She can tell Chuck is bothered. He’s concerned about Jack. She says she and Jack have an ugly history, she tries to pull out (she doesn’t have the strength to deal with him). He says he understands and invites her to stay for a drink meanwhile.

B and S talk. D can see that C is doubting himself. Nate calls S but B picks up. She thinks S’s plan was good. He says he did the right thing. He says S might not understand that losing her virginity is a big deal for a girl like J. S hears this and is pissed–what it wasn’t for her because she was a slut at the time.

Rufus intends for J to come to the party so he can keep an eye on her. She’s watching dirty dancing.

People are boycotting C’s business. B sees C taking a glass to take a DNA sample for Elizabeth. B says he knows already but Jack’s gotten inside his head. (It can’t hurt…) She was calming to say she’d changed her mind. She’s upset. B tries to assuage her. She says he’s his father’s son and can never let her in. He intends to drop it off. B won’t go with him then.

Lily sees Serena at the celebration and tries to talk to her but S tells her to save her lies for her current husband. Whispers follow Chuck into the room so Lily hugs him in the middle of the room. He knows she’s made sure everyone comes. This is actually a sweet moment between them.

Nate sees Serena and rather than make it better he lists all the people she’s ever been rumored to sleep with. She says some are lies or exaggerated. Then he says he lost his virginity to her on a bar and she points out that somehow that reflects poorly on her and not him. He woke up the morning after losing his virginity S left town for a year, so therefore he had a good reason to go behind her back on J. I’m not sure about the logic.

Jack shows up at the event and talks to Lily. Rufus is pissed to see him. Jack says he’s there to apologize. Rufus threatens him. Well I guess their relationship isn’t completely over. He wants to talk to privately.

D approaches J. She’s whiny. V comes in wearing what I assume is meant to be something that makes her look super hot. Meh. She says it’s a friends only zone but the dress wasn’t a friends only dress. She adds that she’s not wearing any underwear. Classy.

Nate approaches J and she wants the traitor to leave. Nate says she’s special and deserves a guy to be there in the morning. He tells her that Damion got rough with S at the dinner and J reveals that it was just for the drugs. She says he doesn’t care about her and should stop pretending. Damion comes in and Nate says he won’t let them leave. So Damion punches Nate and then pulls J out with him. The group rallies and Nate reveals that he’s a drug dealer.

Rufus and Lily talk and Rufus says he didn’t cheat on her but he kind of wanted to even the score. Before they can kiss and make up Dan interrupts with the news about Jenny.

Chuck’s lawyer reveals that things are taking a turn for the worse. For PR sake it needs to seem that he’s no longer in charge, at least temporarily to a family member. Jack is conveniently nearby and volunteers. Chuck says it will never happen. Jack says he’ll wait until he’s bankrupt and then he’ll buy him out. Jack says Chuck took what’s his so he will take what’s Chuck’s.

Nate goes to Damion’s apartment and says they have to tell him where Damion is but they aren’t there. They’ve booked a room elsewhere. Damion gives J a chance to back out but she doesn’t.

Chuck is upset. Blaire offers to take offer if needed. He doesn’t think that would do it. He doesn’t want Lily (Bass Industries) to bail him out. He gets the DNA results, Elizabeth is his mother and she’s an option.

J says there’s something Damion should know before…she’s a virgin. He figured. It’s no big. She says it is. She chose him. (Annointed him it sounds like…) He wants to talk about it after but she says she doesn’t want to do it. He gets up and says he knew she was just a kid. And leaves her alone. And she starts crying.

Lily has spoken to the police but they don’t think they’ll find her. In comes J. She says they broke up with Damion and then goes to her room. S goes after her. (PS I hate S’s dress.) J pretends they had sex and that it was no big deal. Then she listens to dirty dancing music.

Elizabeth is packing when she gets a knock on the door. It’s Chuck. He apologizes. He says he wants to trust her and explains what he needs her to do. She says it’s too much. He doesn’t trust anyone else. She’s his mother.

Lily calls her mom. It’s been six months, she needs to check in with Dr. Van Der Woodson, he’s the right choice. She says she will come soon. Rufus asks what’s going on and she lies about her mother. He says she should go because he and J need time together. When she gets back they can start over.

D shows up at V’s and he wants to talk to his friend about her. He wants to tell everyone about them. She agrees.

Nate apologizes to S. She says her plan was dumb. She apologizes about leaving. She didn’t mean to hurt him. Now they know they love each other.

B is up when Chuck comes in to say he signed over the hotel. She says they’re celebrating him for opening his heart.

Elizabeth gets another knock. It’s Jack. “So, do we have ourselves the hotel?” “We do.” Well, that’s disappointing but not unexpected.

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One Response to “Gossip Girl: The Sixteen Year Old Virgin”

  1. Malaika Says:

    soooo, again, unrelated, but as i’m re-watching gossip girl, a major inconsistency has arisen. the first few episodes, dan is all about dartmouth, 2nd season he all the sudden is all about yale.

    also, elizabeth’s betrayal? not a surprise. chuck is definitely the product of her and bart bass.


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