The Secret Life: This Time Around

OK, better late than never right?

Ashley staring at a picture of…a guy and his dog? She says “oh brother” and in comes Amy dressed in a short dress. Ashley tells her to take a condom meaning she looks hot. She has some in her desk drawer. Amy says she won’t be having sex but maybe she’ll take one anyway. Ashley has condoms because “better safe than you.” Ashley tells her that a second (or third) date is too early to have sex. Amy wants to feel normal and taking a condom means normal. Ashley asks her if she knows how to use it. It doesn’t work from your purse. Ashley tells Amy to leave before she gets too sisterly. Who is the guy in the picture?

“Falling in love…” it’s such a cheesy, addictive theme song.

Ashley is looking through her father’s stuff and finds a letter where he apologizes to Anne for Rita the Meter Maid. Ashley runs out of the room to sift through his things and finds a ring. He asks for him to bring the ring and flowers up to Anne. How many times can he drive up there to get rejected?

Amy is on her date and she’s nervous because Ricky’s never had John for an entire night. Does Amy still have feelings for Ricky? Ben? This is awkward date conversation. He asks if she and Ben have ever had sex. He says he’s never slept with any of his girlfriends. He’s waiting for the one worth waiting for. He doesn’t want to have sex in high school, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea.

Alice (ps- what’s with the “A” names) and Henry try to convince Ben to go out with them. He doesn’t want to be a third wheel but they insist. He wants them to go. He finally convinces them.

Ben’s dad and stepmom-to-be are downstairs when Alice and Henry come down. Ben’s dad offers him the car.

Meanwhile Ben is upstairs on the phone revealing that he lied about not wanting to go out. He’s going out with someone. He can drive now!

George is driving to Anne and the song he’s listening to convinces him that it HAS to work. It’s the second time around after all. Not sure if that’s how it works George.

Ashley is still going through letters when someone knocks on the door with pizza. Griffin sent over pizza to make her feel better. She doesn’t want to answer it but he insists. She doesn’t seem thrilled about it. The guy looks at her and says “wow…he thinks he might like her…or love her…because…wow.” He says the pizza is free. Griffin wants them to eat the pizza together. He’s Griffin’s cousin, he’s never killed anyone. Ashley’s making him nervous. He’s never done anything illegal and he thinks she’s beautiful. She doesn’t want to let him in with no one home so they agree to eat in the backyard. Griffin says she needs a friend. His name is Grant.

Back to Amy’s date they wonder about going somewhere or remaining in the restaurant. He thinks she might be afraid to be alone with her. She says she is a little. Jimmy says she doesn’t have to worry about the cost of the meal. They kiss and the waiter interrupts with the dessert menu. In walks Madison and Lauren on double dates of their own–Jack (with a new haircut) and Jesse. Jimmy suggests that they sit down.

Ricky watches John sleep and then says goodnight and goes to the next room where Adrianne is waiting with a candlelight dinner that she made. He never knew she cooked until now. She wonders if this is what married life feels like but he has a feeling it isn’t. She says she can’t spend the night to which he responds “we’ll talk.”

Surprise! The person Ben went to see was Grace. He’d love it if they could be friends and he’s always thought she was special.

George continues giving himself a pep talk, checks himself in the mirror, and slams on the break (with not the best acted look of fear on his face). He hit a squirrel but it’s okay. He’s got a cut on his forehead and the flowers are ruined though.

Grace and Ben discuss her medical plans. No more sports medicine. Heart surgery maybe. Ben isn’t sure what he wants to do yet. His dad wants him to go to college even though he never has. Grace is all wasp, Ben is Jewish and Catholic.

Ben’s dad and Betty talk about when to get married. He wants a small wedding. She doesn’t know if his family and friends would be excited. He insists. Ben loves her and his real friends would be happy. Betty thinks she shouldn’t wear white–ecru instead. They dance, it’s kind of cute. What exactly is ecru? A dirty white.

Amy and Jimmy say goodbye to the others. They apparently came to spy on Jimmy and pass judgment. Jesse thinks Ben and Amy are over. Jack reveals that Ben and Grace are together. They’re awkward about double dating. Lauren is getting testy with Jesse. Lauren thinks maybe Jimmy isn’t too bad since he paid for their check.

Ricky wants to do dishes but Adrianne wants to finish her meal. John wakes up crying so Ricky picks him up. He gets a call and it’s from Amy. “He’s fine.” How’s her date going? Fine. Tell Adrianne hello. Okay, but don’t call again or you’ll annoy Jimmy. They’re in Jimmy’s car and he suggests making out. She does want to. He tells her to start. She insists he does (I’m beginning to wonder about her social skills.)

Ashley talks to Grant about her parents. She doesn’t understand. Not trying at all is failing but trying isn’t. She’s not much of a talker normally. Maybe she hasn’t found the right person to talk to. He’s made things weird now but he knows of another way to make things weird, he could kiss her. Another dog shows up and Moose runs off after it, interrupting the moment.

George shows up to find some other guy holding Robby. Cue dramatic music and a commercial. George talks with the guy who says he’s never slept with her. Anne is with Mimzy. He says nothing happened and he should believe him. Anne lied about sleeping with him. Now what? The guy suggests he go home and let her come to him. He says she will and he’d better not screw it up.

Ben and Grace never got around to their movie but they had fun talking and not he has to go since he can’t drive after 11. He asks if she’d like to go out again sometime. He didn’t want everyone to talk about it. Grace told Jack though. Oh. They’re somewhat awkward together too. (Has Ben gotten a lot taller?) Grace kisses him (and he beams) and leaves. He must have forgotten that if he wants sex Grace is not the person to go to.

Amy and Jimmy arrive at home. End of the date so…kissing. She forgot her purse in his car and he goes to get it. Her purse falls out and everything topples out with it. He sees the condom inside. Ashley asks Amy how it was and when asked what Ashley did she says nothing. Jimmy runs into Grant. Ashley never even mentioned Amy or she did but he was mostly just staring at her. Jimmy asks Grant to return the purse. Ashley asks if it was better than making out with Ben and she says different. Grant brings back the bag hoping for more making out but she turns him down. Amy wonders why Jimmy didn’t bring it in. Her phone rings and it’s Madison and Lauren, still on their dates, to tell them about Ben and Grace. She’s more concerned about Jimmy not bringing in her purse. Ashley tells her to be cool. George arrives and says he will go after Moose.

Anne thanks the other guy for helping out and telling George the truth. Anne looks thrilled about the flowers. Even though they’re falling apart, though I suppose that isn’t his fault.

Grace comes down in the morning and finds Jack at the door. He lets her know that he told Madison about her and Ben. She’s annoyed and says she won’t tell him about it. He wants to be out with Grace, she’s his girlfriend. She says she isn’t, they aren’t good together. Grace says he’s with Madison. They could have been good together. But she said they made mistakes that changed how she feels about him and nobody respects a cheater so be with Madison for real or not at all.

Alice and Henry get home in the morning. They’ve been out all night! But they didn’t do anything in the car. Alice and Henry know about Grace thanks to Madison. He reveals that he just got his license. Alice is upset that Ben kept everything a secret. He’s happy. He had a date with a girl he once would only dream about dating. He reveals that she kissed him. Alice thinks that’s bad because Amy will never want to take him back even if he wants her back.

Amy is upset that Adrianne slept over but he says they didn’t do anything. He didn’t want her to drive home late. Amy is upset that Grace went out with Ben, she thought they were friends. Amy is upset about it. She cares about him. Ricky says she seems more confident and grown up lately, more confident in herself, don’t go back to that old stuff. (Wow, Ricky, that was so insightful and I totally agree. She hasn’t cried in like two whole episodes!) She needed to hear that she did something right for once.

Adrianne’s parents are upset that she was out all night. She says they didn’t do anything. Her mom reveals that she’s not taking the job in NY because her parents are getting married. Adrianne is thrilled! Her mom was just scared.

George yells at Moose about the need to settle down. A woman shows up with the dog that Moose ran after. Moose got her pregnant! He needs to be neutered. She realizes who he is. She’s Mickey! He sold her a house load of crap. She loves crap so it’s okay. Her dog is actually her sister’s dog. She’s not as upset as she first seemed. She’d like a boyfriend. He can’t help, he’s madly in love with is wife.

Anne is looking out the window (sees George talking to the woman) and decides she isn’t ready to come back. Anne, you are officially the worst parent ever. Ashley is devastated.


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