The Secret Life has returned, hold on for another crazy season of wild teens, whining and crying Amys, and backstabbing friends and family. Who will be together now?
That is quite the recap there. It’s so chaotic but sums up the entire show well enough. A little long though.
Ben talks to his BFs about his friend Hank and Alice coming. They think it’s a bad idea but her dad has some business trip. Break up with Amy already if you’re going to. Do it because you don’t want to be with her. That’s the honest thing. But when alone, Hank says to wait it out. Ben then sees Madison and Lauren? They say he’s up to something. They question him about his desire to break up with Amy. Madison says he can’t ever break up with her. She has to break up with him. He runs to throw up. Madison looks hotter.
Amy wants to miss school but her mom says she has to go. Amy loves being away with her mom and the babies. Amy wants just one more day so they don’t have to go back to their lives.
Ben comes out of the bathroom and there is rebel boy asking him what’s going on. He says he can’t talk to him. Ben is surprised by Ricky begging him not to break up with her.
Grace teaches Adrianne about recessive jeans and Adrianne thinks about the fact that red is recessive. Adrianne and Ricky are always together and it’s not sex. Grace thinks oral sex is unnatural. Are other people listening in? Yeah. Awkward. Grace worries that she isn’t good at giving oral sex. Jack never reciprocated. Adrianne says everyone is good at sex it’s just good for you or not. Grace wishes they hadn’t. Adrianne says he has a new girlfriend. Who? Grace starts crying.
Ricky wants to get away and suggests Ben come. Jack wants to come but Ricky tries to talk him out of it. Ricky says just walk out if you’re skipping, no excuses. So they do. Adrianne tries to comfort Grace. Then she suggests ditching. Grace is shocked. Ashley wants to come. And so comes Ashley’s gay friend Griffin. The best friend squad watches them leave. And then they follow. So it’s ditch day, fair enough.
The guy who sold the fake IDs goes in to talk to the counselor. He says he wants benefits in order to help her establish herself. He tells her about all the students leaving school to have sex. So he fills her in on everyone who left. If she busts them it would be huge so he should get whatever he wants. As long as she doesn’t get in trouble. This is weird. Just saying.
Ricky doesn’t want to know anything about Grace’s relationship. Jack isn’t having sex with anyone he just wants her to want him back. (Ricky says they clearly aren’t ready to get back together.) Ricky says it might backfire but it turns out Adrianne is helping him.
The school counselor calls Jack who picks up. Jack panics. Ben says they should take the day off in style, in a fancy car. Ricky thinks it’s a bad idea but Ben insists. It will be fun! Meaning it will be bad. When did Ricky become the voice of reason here?
Adrianne is driving, she says Grace is having a good time. Ashley says not being with her family is a good time. She says nothing is happy, they are one of the most normal families…Grace hates her mom’s new boyfriend, that she’s dating anyway. Adrianne says we all mourn in different ways. Adrianne is also the voice of reason. Ashley says she won’t have sex until she’s 18 but no one believes her. Griffin doesn’t want to talk about gay sex. Griffin’s phone rings and it is the counselor but he says it is the wrong number. So she calls Ashley. Griffin figures out that it’s from the school. Grace “let’s loose.”
Alice answers the phone. They think it is the cafeteria lady. Lauren suggests turning back. Hank is Henry btw.
The crew arrives at the beach to stare out at the ocean. Everyone’s here but Amy will she feel left out like she did about Grace’s dad’s funeral?
Griffin wants Ashley to introduce him to her dad’s gay friends. She was at the beach recently with her dad. Ashely is miserable. Ricky and Adrianne talk. Ricky worries about Amy leaving with his son if Ben breaks up with her. Amy and her mom have left to take care of her grandmother. Supposedly. Adrianne says he needs to claim his son. Ricky thinks it’s a privilege to see his son. Adrianne is putting the pieces together. The baby might not be George’s. Adrianne thinks her mom is leaving. She had a job offer working in public relations for the airline in NY. Adrianne doesn’t know what to do. Ricky is the only person she wants to be with her and he thinks that he might leave to be with Amy.
Jack and Grace talk. Jack explains that he’s not seeing anyone. Grace wasn’t comfortable with oral sex and he says that’s ok. Their love could makes sex better. Jack thinks not continuing to have sex ruined things. Grace thinks having sex ruined it. Grace wants to know what he did on break. He says he was with Madison, they made out, kissed, that’s it. More than one kiss but not more than one occasion. She just kissed Jason. Jack is upset about feeling guilty.
Ben’s Italian friend arrives and jumps on him. Ashley looks pleased. He gets a call from his dad, wondering where his car is. The guidance counselor is pleased.
Alice and crew get a ticket when they get a call from the guidance counselor. She says everyone is coming back to school. The parents are all together. George is freaking out about Amy and Anne leaving. Adrianne’s dad points out that Ricky has rights and Amy can’t just take off. Grace’s mom talks to the guidance counselor. Grace’s mom clearly is having sex. Jack’s dad doesn’t think it’s such a big deal. The Reverend talks about dropping acid. In walks the gang. (Madison, Lauren, Henry/Hank, and Alice’s parents are not there.)
George and Ashley talk. She just wanted to get out of school. Anne and Amy are probably not coming back. Ashley says he loves everyone so get them back. The dog barks and he lets him in.
Grace and her mom talk. She tells her that if she really wants to have sex she should masturbate. Awkward. She should take it into her own hands. She’s not ready to get married yet but she is having sex with her bf.
Ben and his dad talk about the arrival of his Italian friend. His dad says he can be attracted to other girls even if he loves Amy but that doesn’t mean he has to do something about it. He wants to be with and date other girls. He wants to be like a teen without a girlfriend with a baby. His dad says he has to deal with it. Ben wants fun, he can always just go back to Amy. His dad says he can’t. Be sure, maybe Amy won’t take him back the next time.
Adrianne and Ricky kiss. She’s sorry about his situation. Her dad comes in and wants to talk to Ricky about “dad stuff.” He says Ricky can have an agreement without going to court. It isn’t about the money. They need time, help, and love. Learn from his mistakes of not being in Adrianne’s life. Ricky is a good dad. Be there for him. He’d be happy to talk if Ricky ever needs. (That’s actually a good speech, even if it felt slightly unnatural.)
Ricky comes to talk to George about wanting John back. George says he’ll support him. Ricky must make sure Amy knows Ricky doesn’t want to be with her. They have to do what’s right for John and George will help.
Amy’s phone rings and he says he wants to see John. He wants him to bring John home. She doesn’t know when she’ll be ready. What will he do?