Ballads are stories set to music. There is a new rule that they have to perform a ballad this year at sectionals. They must pick a song to sing to their partner. Which will be picked at random, guys and girls in one hat. Matt isn’t here because he had to go to the hospital when they found a spider in his year. Finn is unhappy because he is with Kurt. Rachel gets Schu (to replace Matt) and she suggests they do a love song that Schu doesn’t think is appropriate but they convince her. Rachel then realizes that Mr. Schu has pretty eyes and nice teeth. He is freaked out by the way she’s looking at him.
Quin preps with her mom for the Chastity Ball and she doesn’t fit the dress a bit. Her mom thinks she quite the Cheerios.
This isn’t the first time a student had a crush on him but there was a girl who had a really intense crush that kept getting worse. Until he told her to stop and she ate the world’s hottest pepper. OCD teacher, Emma (nearly forgot her), tells him to sing it to her to break it to her.
Kurt and Finn rehearse. Kurt pushes him to sing and he freaks out. He talks about how he doesn’t want to give up his daughter for adoption (not in so many words…) Kurt suggests “I’ll Stand By You.” The mother sees Finn looking at a sonogram (singing to one actually) and he admits that Quinn is pregnant.
Quinn is of course angry at Finn for telling his mom. Kurt keeps trying to point out why women suck.
Schu tries to sing his way out of the crush but Rachel clearly doesn’t get it, instead getting more attracted to him. As Rachel heads out in comes Susan Pepper (past crush crazy).
Finn has Kurt come over to help him find an outfit to go to Quin’s. They bond over their dead parents (Kurt’s mom, Finn’s dad). Her mom never threw out his dad’s clothes. As he puts on his clothes, he thinks about how his dad was so brave and he’s a coward. Kurt says use his voice to tell the truth. Well we saw how well that worked out for Schu.
Speaking of Schu he gets home and his wife doesn’t answer when he calls her. He’s handed a beer and finds Rachel? His wife is having her clean the bathroom. She has to deal with these crushes all the time. Schu is angry and takes Rachel home. He makes her sit in the back of the car and she suggests taking the time to practice. Of course, she picks the song Crush, which he stops when she gets just a line into.
Pepper warns her to stay away from Rachel before she “gets hurt bad.”
Mercedes, partnered with Puck, is too distracted about Finn and Puck. So they all plan to sing to them in support. Puck doesn’t like it so he says he’s the father. Mercedes tells him to move on because Quinn chose Finn as the father. He already ruined her life he owes her something. Ouch.
At Quinn’s house for dinner, the dad wants to propose a toast. Mid-toast he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He calls Kurt, freaking out. Kurt convinces him to sing the song they’ve been rehearsing. Quinn’s freaking out because she has an idea of what he’s about to do. The dad realizes what Finn is saying and he’s not so happy, to say the least. The parents talk to them, disappointed. Her dad kicks Quinn out of the house. Quinn says her mom knew and didn’t say anything. She says she needs her parents but they walk away from her. Finn brings Quinn home and his mom agrees she can stay as long as she needs.
Pepper finds Rachel again and continues with the warnings. They’re not so different. Pepper says she is picking a guy who can’t reciprocate her feelings in order to reinforce the feeling of unworthiness.
When Rachel comes to practice, he tells her he can be nothing more than a teacher for her and she apologizes. He tells her there is a boy who will like her for exactly who she is, even the things she wishes she could change about herself. He suggests ditching rehearsal, she doesn’t need practice with ballads anyway.
Kurt apologizes for his plan but Finn says better that there are no more secrets. (I would like Finn to explain how “he got Quinn pregnant” and see what other people say.) Kurt says his song for Finn is “I honestly love you” and then Mercedes says they have to come to for a surprise. AND THEY SING “LEAN ON ME!” Some awkward eye contact between Kurt and Finn and some cute eye contact between Quinn and Puck. Great choice of soloists for this one. I wish the background was a bit louder, but otherwise. And why don’t they get more solos?