Ruby: It’s My Party and I’ll Lie If I Want To

Ruby watches her dad practice. She looks confused. She thinks it’s gross, sexist and infantile. So he’s all set.

Ruby gives them an anniversary card. The boys don’t give them anything, as always. The parents kiss in front of the kids. They then talk about how they met. She was a dancer on their set. It was love at first sight. They’re going to the same place they go to every time. It’s clear that the mom doesn’t actually like it. He’s upset. He wants to be her Luke Studwalker (in front of the kids!) and is determined to give her the best anniversary yet.

Night time, they’re packed. They’re going to the Inn at Monarch Bay, which just opened. Ruby’s in charge of watching the kids. Why is she looking after Jordan? He’s the oldest. Because last time he gave Ben a mohawk while he was sleeping. Ruby’s excited to be in charge. Jordan wants to give her a mohawk. She says she wants to throw a party to get herself a good label in high school. They bribe Ben with chocolate.

The parents are on the road stuck in traffic. They decide they should share secrets to be dangerous. She has one that’s sort of stupid but it’s funny. During the video shoot where they first hooked up, when the power went out, before they kissed, David kissed her because he thought she had a crush on her. He’s upset.

At the party. Ben’s hyper from chocolate. Ruby is told her party is great. David comes in and asks what the hell is going on. “This is outrageous.” He kicks everyone out and she’s told the party is a bust. Her dad pulls her into the kitchen and she asks since when does he act like a dad. “It was a good act wasn’t it?” He needs the house for his own party which is why hers can’t stay. Ruby’s upset. David’s party is to discuss a new album.

Jordan sees a hot woman named Chanel. Jordan finds Ruby up in her room. He’s wearing an oversized blazer in an attempt to look older. He tries a pipe but it doesn’t help either.

David approaches the record label guy but he’s busy on his phone. Finally they get down to business. He asks Ruby if her friends would buy David’s record.

Patrick is freaking that his brother kissed her first and they starts fighting. He gives her the silent treatment so she tries to make him laugh by doing impressions. She says he’s the one she loves and he’d better let this go. They love each other.

David tells Ruby she can invite her friends back to tell the record label will see how cool he is. She is upset that he doesn’t care about her. He wants to leave. Ruby says he isn’t going to get an album, he belongs on the album. She realizes she just told her dad it’s wrong to have dreams.

Patrick’s turn to tell a secret but he decides against it.

Jordan approaches Chanel, she asks if he’s nine he tries to pass as 40. The record label guy decides to leave. David tries to stop him and Ruby steps up to help, offering doing a father-daughter act. They perform (and once again we see that Alexa Vega can’t sing). David doesn’t even sing he just plays piano. She tries to apologize and David says she has nothing to apologize. The record label wants to change everything and that would let him turn it into a hit. David says forget it. He’d rather make a comeback with a different record label.

Ben’s fallen asleep on the floor. Apparently he had a mean stroke at the end.

Jordan sings a song about losing Chanel. It’s so bad it’s painful. Ruby starts shrieking.


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