Finally, an episode where something happens! Until now everything has felt as though it’s just setting the stage, but now the baby has arrived!
Last week: Realizing that Esteban wants her to have the baby off the books, leaving no trail that it is his so she insists on inducing. Esteban is pretty pissed when he finds out though seeing his son helps calm him. Celia goes into the make up selling business (hooray Death of a Salesman references) and has no success, possibly because she can’t seem to put make up on people very well. Silas and Doug’s marijuana business runs into police trouble and they call on Celia’s ex husband (Dean) to bail them out (only to discover that he’s upset for not being brought in on the deal in the first place.)
Nancy wakes up to find a strange woman standing over her baby. The woman tells Nancy not to interrupt her because it’s impolite. “And breeches of etiquette make me want to throw things.” By throw things she of course means the baby. She tells Nancy why she’s never had children (“because you’d eat them and children are super fattening?” Nancy asks), they are inconvenient and complicated. She says the baby was a mistake that will end Esteban’s career and it is her job to prevent it.
Celia arrives at “You’re Pretty!” to talk to the owner about her lack of success. No one wants to buy the make up and she wants out. Did you know that poor people make the most make up? Right…Cece (apparently Celia’s alter ego according to the owner) sells a lifestyle and she had better sell everything. If she doesn’t pay she’ll go to jail. Cece must sell the You’re Pretty dream so that Celia doesn’t have to live the you’re ugly and behind bars lifestyle.
Nancy tells Esteban that according to Esteban’s “friend” and the baby’s birth certificate, he is not the father. His name will never be on the birth certificate. She says he should stand up to the woman. He says it isn’t that easy. When Esteban leaves, Nnacy puts Andy’s name on the birth certificate.
Dean asks why he should help. Silas begs for help but Doug acts like a jerk. (Doug says he didn’t cut him in because he’s cursed with schmuckness) Dean says he’ll represent them if he gets to slam Doug’s pride and joy in a drawer. Doug agrees “if I’m hard it won’t be so bad.” This is certainly one way of doing business. Yes it is.
Nancy gets home with the baby, who still has no name. Shane and Silas sit and stare at their new half-brother. He’s kind of cute. Shane says “who cares, he’s probably going to end up wanting to play soccer.” Nancy wants her bedroom back now, but Andy doesn’t want to give it back. Andy just found out about his name on the birth certificate. He says he refuses to sign and doesn’t want to do it. She says she has nobody else but he won’t budge.
Celia comes to Dean to get out of her contract. He says she’s screwed. She sees the weed that he managed to recover for Doug and Silas. Celia points out that she could sell more make up if she gives a free gift of weed with the purchase. He just needs to say he was ripped off by black people. They’ll believe the bruises. “What bruises?” She decks him.
Andy shaved! He is standing outside Nancy’s doctor’s office where there’s a man protesting abortion. He’s thrilled at having said no to Nancy. The doctor walks out wearing armor, holding a cigarette, and sees him. He asks her out and she agrees. She’ll know his car by its distinctive horn.
Peta arrives at the house. When she sees that Peta will leave if she doesn’t get a bedroom, Nancy says she’ll sleep on the couch. Peta has a bunch of requirements which Nancy readily agrees to. Anything to have someone watch over the baby.
On the date…they talk and things seem ok until the doc says it’s getting late and she says she should go home. She’s passed him in life. Apparently two dollar tacos isn’t dazzling. She’s not so gentle on the rejection. She’s too good for him and his game playing ways. She doesn’t even want him to drive her home–she’d rather find a car where the doors open.
It’s time to name the baby. Andy comes in and says he will sign the birth certificate, if he can really raise the baby. He wants something that matters in his life. And the baby will be Jewish. Nancy has Andy change the baby. He’s actually really cute with the baby. Andy wants the baby to have a bris. Done and done. Shane thinks it’s a barbaric ritual. At the bris, the doctor is playing Pacman and Andy points out that she’s a doctor and “so beyond that.” She says she had no idea the game was so addictive. He asks if she’s there because she likes him, she says it’s because she’s fascinated to the drama of their family. He’s almost inclined not to ask her out again because she was mean. Almost.
Celia has convinced Dean to join her make up selling scam. He compliments her on how she looks and they have an awkward moment.
Doug asks the Rabbi if he can do anything for his injured parts. Rabbi recommends a doctor but Doug has no insurance. Ouch and awkward…
Esteban enters the party. He does not approve. His son is not Jewish. The baby’s hebrew name is Avi Melech (my father the king) in English it’s Steven Ray Botwin. Esteban wants to talk to her in private. He says his son will be baptized in a church. Sorry, he’s Jewish. Esteban insists he’s the father and gets to choose. Nancy said he lost his chance. Esteban says his son won’t be raised by Andy a pendejo (basically a dummy or a nerd–thanks Andrew!). Nancy says Andy sticks around and fights for what he loves at least. Her son won’t see or know Esteban. Esteban grabs Nancy’s hands and says “he is mine!” (Dude, it’s a baby not a football.) Nancy tells him he’s lost the baby. Esteban finally storms out. She watches him go and then Andy comes in with the baby.
What will Esteban do to get his baby back? Can he do anything?